I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
