Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so let's talk penis.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
