North Korea, Best Korea!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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