why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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