what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
