Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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