Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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