I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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