NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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