Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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