; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
