Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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