I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize