It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
