im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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