ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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