don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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