Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
