There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
