She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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