Umm I'm too high to move.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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