Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
