grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
