dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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