So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
