Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
