I bet he comes in French.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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