I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
