he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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