Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
