omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
