I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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