there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
