He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
