Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
