My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
