And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
