Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
