Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
