When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
