I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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