final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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