The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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