She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
