Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she looked like the before picture.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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