I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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