I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize