oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
