my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
