do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
