I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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