It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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