OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and she was petting her beer can
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
