i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
