Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
