The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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