I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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