She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
pop tarts are not kleenex
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
