I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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