wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I checked into jail on foursquare
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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