Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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