just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
