these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
