Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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