she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Randomize
