I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
