i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
