so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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