how do flat chested girls get laid?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
